Welcome to Cantastic Authorpalooza, featuring posts by and about great Canadian children’s book creators! Today’s guest: Lea Beddia. Take it away, Lea!
Be yourself. But dress how we say to dress. Your school clothes must cover up your shoulders, cleavage, and knees. Your sports uniform is a skimpy little number, but it’s no big deal. A teenage girl’s instructions for how to dress come with an abundance of contradictions.
Schools have dress codes and rules about appropriate attire, understandably. That’s true for most working environments. In most schools, students are not allowed to show bare shoulders and knees. No midriffs or bra straps either. The message: wearing clothes that admit you’re female is somehow problematic.
So, while the systems in school are trying to teach young people how to dress appropriately, the girls’ clothing section is on another page, entirely.
I took my daughter shopping this March. It’s technically spring, but it’s snowing heavily, with no sign of summer. She needed some long-sleeved shirts, but not sweaters. In the whole clothing store, we found one. And it was a crop top. She’s ten, and wears a size ten, but it was obviously going to be too small on her. She’s average height and weight for a girl her age. But from one style to another, she may be wearing a size 10 or 12 or 14. I have never made a fuss about the discrepancies in sizes, so she doesn’t feel like it’s anything important, but for some kids, having to wear two sizes bigger than usual may trigger some self-esteem issues. Imagine if you go shoe shopping, and with one brand you wear a 7 and with another a 10. It is confusing, to say the least.
I pick out a size twelve, but clearly, there’s going to be some skin showing. I know the dress code rules. No tummies. She’s ten and the idea of her being told that showing a few centimetres of skin is a problem feels innately wrong, and I fear how she might interpret that. That it’s not OK to look the way she does? Is there something wrong with her?
I hold up the top and ask her: “When you put your arms up, we’ll see your belly button. Are you comfortable with that?” She shrugs, and comes up with the solution. At school, she’ll wear a t-shirt underneath it, and at home and on weekends, she won’t.
Smart kid, but my feminist mom button is triggered because she has to find ways around how to dress.
On the flip side, I’m also a full-time high school teacher. There should be limits and boundaries to what is accepted at school, I agree. And yes, when the staff becomes more lenient, some students get bolder, and it is problematic. Teens pushing boundaries. Nothing new.
As a teaching artist, I have visited many schools, and anytime I’m giving a writing workshop with a group of girls, these issues come up, and what always has us talking and writing the most are the hypocrisies and contradictions.
In one workshop, an eighth-grader stated: “I was told to cover up because one of my bra straps was showing, but when I play volleyball, the shorts are so short, they get stuck up my butt. It’s so uncomfortable! And no one will order new uniforms.”
What are we telling this young girl? Bra straps are a problem, but when you’re playing a sport, a place where girls should feel strong, confident, and accepted, we’ll make her wear something she is not comfortable with. I asked the group what a solution could be. A classmate offered: “Wear your own shorts.” But the volleyball player said it’s not allowed. She has to wear the issued uniform or she can’t play.
It’s frustrating and confusing, to say the least, and when this girl is asked to cover up her shoulders, what might happen if she shows her frustration? “Detention,” she says. “Or they’ll call home. And I don’t want to get in trouble. They’re just bra straps. What if I wasn’t wearing one?”
Good question. Which is what inspired my most recent young adult hi-lo (high interest, low reading level) book, No Brainer from Orca Book Publishers, where Liv has to navigate the dress code rules while being scrutinized for not wearing a bra. My favorite thing about Liv is that she never backs down. She gets *ahem* support from her teacher, friend, and one of the boys on the basketball team to wear what she’s comfortable with.
Students and adults can find compromises. Boundaries will be pushed. But I am OK with a cohort of young people who are willing to push boundaries and find solutions.
No Brainer received a starred review from Kirkus:
Fearless and filled with jubilant moxie; a must-read.
Learn more about Lea Beddia and her books at her website.