Reason #14 Why You Should Not Read The Monstrumologist Before Bed

August 3, 2013


Warning: This Book is Bad for Your Dreams

You’ll read about a fight against the Anthropophagi – weird, voraciously hungry monsters that don’t need heads because their shark fangs are in their bellies – and then proceed to dream about harpies.  Except they aren’t harpies, they’re part human and part the freakishly-large wasps that kept getting into your last rental house.

One of them will have you backed into a corner, flying at your face to attack you with its matched set of poisonous knives (yes, the wasps have knives) and you will know – know with the ineffable, inarguable logic of dreams – that the only way to defeat the foul, deadly beast is to blow air at it.

Which you proceed to do – watching your attacker get carried away from your face, then fly closer for another assault, to-and-fro, all the while feeling relieved it’s working and yet slightly worried that the research team who’s in the other room frantically developing a permanent wasp-harpy solution hasn’t charging in to rescue you yet – right up until your husband gently shakes you and says “Are you OK?”

To which you will reply, half asleep and rather blearily, “Yeah, why?”

“Because you keep exhaling like someone poked you to let the air out.”

(hysterical giggling by both parties)

What book or movie has invaded your dreams lately? Share your story in the comments, and remember that every embarrassing echo in your subconscious gives you an entry into the Talk About FOX TALK Contest!

2 Comments on ‘Reason #14 Why You Should Not Read The Monstrumologist Before Bed’

  1. That’s not creepy at all! I did have a movie invade my dreams, but now I can’t remember it. It’s crazy how dreams disappear like that. When I was a teen, I loved reading Anne McCaffrey’s Dragons of Pern series. One time, I dreamed that I had my own pet fire lizard sleeping curled up behind my knees. When I woke up, my dog was sleeping there.

    Reply | 
    1. Lol! Maybe your dog was dreaming about being a fire lizard, too!

      Reply | 

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